Hello,
I would like to request a rewrite of my essay for my Advanced Modernist Literature class. Below is the feedback I received from my teacher, along with the rubric, which should guide the revisions:
Feedback: Areas to celebrate:
-This is a thoughtful, poignant essay, Anna. You explore clear ideas and feelings, making effective connections between text and life.
-I see progress in your analysis of themes and ideas in the text, which is great to see!
Areas to focus on improving:
-Vary verb choice: aim to use varied, elevated word choices throughout the essay, never repeating the same verb in the same sentence.
-More close reading: Though there are many strong comparisons here, the essay does not feature much close reading of Kafka’s text. Additionally, you could closely read your own ideas to greater effect, as in the salad simile.
*****Additionally, here is the grading rubric used for the essay, which outlines expectations for textual analysis, organization, and personal voice.
Unit 1 Summative: The Modernist Explosion
A Personal Reflection Essay
Overview
During this unit, we delved into the social construct of a “modern” Paris at the cusp of the 20th century, and we explored how French poets and intellectuals responded with dismay, flaneur-like wanderings, and disillusionment toward their modern city. We then wandered into the colorful mind of Franz Kafka – an insurance employee by day, writer by night – whose Gregor turned “monstrous vermin” shockingly disrupts the humdrum of a family’s comfortable lifestyle, and calls into question what it means to be a productive, modern citizen, a son, and a friend.
What does it mean to be Kafkaesque in the modern world? What does it mean to be a symbolist in the modern world? And how might these authors’ aesthetic modes of writing—including, but not limited to evocation, suggestion, centering on the subjective “I”, sonic allusions, dense imagery, and absurdism—and their efforts to strive for alternative states of consciousness help us rethink, challenge, reshape our own “modern” world today? Or better yet, how might Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis and French symbolist’s poems and vignettes help us make better sense of our Millennial, Gen Z, Alpha Gen “modern” world of today?
Your Task
You will select (1) literary piece from the repertoire we’ve studied in Unit 1 and connect it to your personal experience. The goal? To draw new meaning for your own life, and reflect on how social, familial, communal expectations may or may not align with a personal state of consciousness – and state of reality — you are idealizing or striving for.
How might Kafka, Rimbaud, Mallarmé, or Baudelaire help you make sense of where you’re situated in life? Could these authors’ works inspire you to strive for an “alternative” state of consciousness separate from our “modern” world to help you achieve your dreams?
Assignment Requirements: A Reflection Essay
Discuss (1) or more issues/themes that emerge from your literary work of choice. Ensure that close reading textual analysis is included.
Make sure that you clearly connect these examples and overall issue/theme with your personal experience. Your personal experience should be specific, tangible, time-bound and easy to follow. Think of specific anecdotes, memories, or interactions with others to help you build the personal story you’d like to write about.
Page length: 3-4 pages
MLA Format (double-spaced, Times New Roman)
Works Cited Page
1 Required Literary Source:
Choose (1) of the following sources we studied in class:
Baudelaire, Charles. “The Painter of Modern Life.” Trans. P. E. Charvet. Selected Writings on Art and Artists [of] Baudelaire. Penguin, 1972.
Baudelaire, Charles. “Crowds.” Trans. Martin Sorrell. Alma Classics, 2013.
Kafka, Franz. The Metamorphosis. Trans. Stanley Corngold. Bantam Books, 1972.
Mallarmé, Stéphane. “Crisis in Poetry, 1886-1895.” Mallarme: Selected Prose Poems, Essays and Letters. Trans. Bradford Cook. The Johns Hopkins Press, 1956.
Poems:
Baudelaire, Charles. “To a Passer-by.” A Symbolist Reader. The Webb Schools, 2024. Course Pack.
Baudelaire, Charles. “Correspondences.” A Symbolist Reader. The Webb Schools, 2024. Course Pack.
Baudelaire, Charles. “Intoxication.” A Symbolist Reader. The Webb Schools, 2024. Course Pack.
Rimbaud, Arthur. “Vowels.” A Symbolist Reader. The Webb Schools, 2024. Course Pack.
Rimbaud, Arthur. “The Drunken Boat.” A Symbolist Reader. The Webb Schools, 2024. Course Pack.
Grading Rubric:
Standard
Standard Descriiption
What a “4” looks like:
1
Textual Analysis
I can closely read and analyze primary sources, secondary sources, and works of literature, discerning how meaning is constructed through an analysis of the source’s tone, form, aesthetics, intended audience, main idea, and significance, how a text is related to its historical context, and how the author’s experiences might influence the overall message or agenda of the source.
– Your essay engages with one literary source from Unit One, close reading passages and connecting the authors’ ideas and craft to your personal experience.
– You introduce quotes with meaningful context and you elaborate on quotes without shying away from depth.
3
Organization and Argumentation
I can structure my assertions with clarity and strong organization. I can construct a persuasive argument and carry it through my work, and present evidence that supports it. The structure of my analysis is appropriate to the medium of text discussed.
– Your ideas seamlessly flow coherently from one to the next, punctuated by clear transitions.
– You center your essay on a clear focus (your “argument”), highlighting specific personal experiences and anecdotes, avoiding overly abstract or stream-of-consciousness styles of storytelling.
5
Written Expression
I can write with clarity and coherence, employing appropriate mechanics, grammar, and sentence structure. I can also express ideas powerfully and clearly in oral and digital mediums.
– Your sentences are clear, employing varied syntax.
– You use active verbs that make your writing sing and avoid simple, vague verbs or repeating the same verbs multiple times.
– You have clearly proofread and edited your essay, avoiding any typos or incomplete sentences.
– You have followed all formatting guidelines and have: appropriate heading, page numbers, double spaced paragraphs with the first line indented and no extra spaces between paragraphs.
6
Personal Voice
I can generate creative and original ideas that are inspired by the content, readings, class materials, and classmates’ contributions.
– You showcase a distinct, unique, and compelling writing style.
– You articulate meaningful and original ideas in eloquent, intentional prose.