We learned last week about social awareness, which Bradberry and Greaves define as the “ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on with them” (2019, p. 38). The key to social awareness is empathy. This week, we will focus on a method to develop and practice empathy.
Remember, developing any skill requires time, practice, and commitment. The more you practice, the more successful you will be.
Remember to practice the skills and strategies you learned about in previous weeks as the term continues.
Reference:
Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2019). Emotional intelligence 2.0. TalentSmart.
Weekly Objectives
By the end of this week, you should be able to:
Use the pillow method to explore multiple perspectives and cultivate empathy.
Reflect meaningfully on empathy-building.
This Week’s Deliverables
Here are the things you must complete for Week 9:
Complete the Pillow Method exercise by 11:59 pm CT Sunday (15 points).
Assignment Content
Question
Complete the attached worksheet and submit it by 11:59 pm CT Sunday (15 points).
The Pillow Method is discussed by writer Paul Reps in his 1967 book Square Sun, Square Moon. The method reminds us that, like a pillow, an issue in a relationship involves four sides and a middle.
Systematically inquiring into the various “sides” exercises our empathy muscles by prodding us to consider viewpoints other than our own. This week, you will be asked to use the Pillow Method to explore an issue you are currently experiencing in a close relationship. Continue to experiment with the method after this week and you will soon train yourself to consider multiple perspectives in many situations.
Your task in this exercise is to fill out the Pillow Method Worksheet. Complete the following steps:
Click on the following hyperlink to download the provided worksheet: Pillow Method Worksheet
Use the Pillow Method Resources provided to complete the worksheet.
Important: THIS IS A PASS/NO PASS ASSIGNMENT. A pass (15 points) means the assignment was thoroughly completed and submitted on deadline. A no-pass (0) points means the assignment was not thoroughly completed or was not submitted on deadline.
Link: https://content.bellevue.edu/cas/ca/110/LOs/ThePillowMethod-v2/Index.html
Position 1: I’m Right, You’re Wrong is the position we typically default to, so most of us are quite familiar with the perspective! We tend to see what is “right” about our position and what is “wrong” with the other individual’s position.
Position 2: You’re Right, I’m Wrong is a position that requires a huge shift in thinking for most of us. It requires that we think about the flaws in our perspective and the strengths in the other person’s perspective. This can take a good deal of effort, but it usually results in the understanding that there is merit in the other person’s position.
Position 3: Both Right, Both Wrong is a position that asks us to acknowledge both the strengths and limitations of each individual’s positions. From this position, we may be able to see the common ground between our perspective and the others.
Position 4: The issue isn’t as important as it seems. This position helps us realize that issues may not be as serious as we initially believe, and the significance of most issues fades over time.
Position 5: There is truth in all perspectives. Chances are, working through the four positions on the metaphorical pillow will provide fresh insights into the issue. As Adler and Proctor (2010, p. 116) explain, “After you have looked at an issue from these five perspectives, it is almost certain you will gain new insights. These insights may not cause you to change your mind or even solve the problem at hand. Nonetheless, they can increase your tolerance for the other person’s position and thus improve the communication climate.”
References:
Adler, R. B., & Proctor, R. F. (2010). Looking out/looking in. Cengage.
Bradberry, T. & Greaves, J. (2009). Emotional intelligence 2.0. TalentSmart.